INEXTRICABLE COLDNESS

today i experienced the feeling of REALLY REALLY cold hands.. to the point where they start to hurt so bad because they're so cold.

currently its 13°F in Providence but because of the wind it feels like -6°F...

can you believe it?

i never knew of sub-zero weather till today... sub-zero degrees in celsius i've experienced.. but not fahrenheit (wow such a complicated spelling .. german?)

today was so cold that it hurt....

i've been thawing for almost an hour and i think my body temperature is slowly coming back.. still kinda cold though

if i had to choose a way to die it definitely wouldn't be by freezing to death.. probably worse than burning.. because it would take longer.. or maybe it's the same.. hmm... dying in you're sleep is probably the best way...

what a depressing topic...

how would you die?

iPAD

HOLY COW...

check this video out now!

apple never fails to surprise me... so innovative.. how do they do it...

...i want it...

AMAZING

life is amazing isn't it?

music, movies, art, creativity.. how does God do it? He seems to inspire me daily :)

.... but i really wish i could sing better ....

FRIEND (noun) :: 친구

"...옆에 내가 있고 니가 있으면

무서울게 뭐가 있겠어

친구야 세상이 널 속여도

친구야 모두 다 널 욕해도

옆에 내가 있고 니가 있으면

뭐가 또 무섭겠어 뭐가 또 두렵겠어..."

-친구야 by 김진표

i like this song a lot... it really says a lot about friendship...

if someone asked me to pick a song that could describe my relationships with my friends it would DEFINITELY be this one :)

translation?

"...When i'm by your side, and you're by my side

what is there to be scared of

friend, even if the world fools you

friend, when all curse at you

if i'm by your side, and you're by mine

what is there to be scared of, what is there to fear..."

thats just the bridge and last chorus of the song.. but the verses are even better..

but i'm not gonna take the time to translate it, it would take too long.. its good :)

AUSTRALIA

so i just finished watching the movie Australia with Hugh Jackman and Nicole Kidman... its good i like it . a lot! if you have time you should watch it.. i think it had a good moral to it, even though it was pretty long...

australia's so beautiful.. i want to go there again soon.. its too beautiful to leave unnoticed..

NEVER REGRETTING WHAT YOU LOVE

today is friday, i didn't have class and the studio was open all day (on wednesdays and thursdays they're closed for classes) but i went today and worked around 6 hours straight.. thats not that bad for me because i've gone longer.. but thats not the point.

as i made my apple teapot today, which is coming along nicely, i messed up a couple of times but i kept trying and trying and finally got it into the right apple body shape, i'm pretty satisfied with it so far, i just need to perfect the lid and create a creative handle for it and i'll be done, but as i was working i didn't realize that my body wasn't liking the fact that i was working in one sitting position for so long.. because when i finished, i tried to stand up but my back and knees hurt so bad that i thought is this pain really worth working on a teapot?

*currently i am laying straight in bed with pas on my back and knees..hopefully it'll be better in the morning*

YES. to me, art and being able to make things are worth all the pain, energy, and time that i have, why? because it's what makes me happy and i know that art/design/basically creating with my hands has been the only things that i have and will never regret. sometimes you regret not doing something well enough or not studying hard enough or just something you did that you wish you could take back.. well not for me, not for my art work. no matter how bad it is, no matter how weird and broken it may look, i never seem to regret anything i make.. that though "i wish i never made that" has NEVER, NEVER crossed my mind, not even once, why? because i put all my effort into it, all my strength, emotions, my thoughts, my pains, basically my whole self into everything...

i think that's why i never regretted going into art and design, coming to RiSD (only sometimes when i'm homesick but other than that, no regrets), because i know that it's the one subject that i put ALL into - from the biggest basic shapes to the smallest detail, all of my thoughts, my energy, my soul are focused on every single part - no regrets~ :)

my pain is worth my work

do what you love, and put your all into it and you won't regret it! ^^

TO: ... YOU

★daniel: because i changed my font and now its still small but readable now :D

★tim: because we were talking about blogging and writing a post

★linda: because we talked on the phone today about my "true happiness" post and made me realize that i want my posts to inspire other people the way it did for you

★charles: because you always help me with art haha :)

its really amazing how i've known these people for so long.. some for almost their whole life and some for most of their life lived thus far :)

if someone asked me if i would ever change anything about my past it definitely would NOT be the people i know. My friends, younger, older, same age, i wouldn't trade their friendship and my relationship with them for the world. they're the people i care about 2nd most in the world (1st: God, 2nd: family - they are my family) i love them and that's that: their place can't be taken away or replaced ♥ ♥ ♥

this is for you,

sending my love from 3 hours away ♥

__________________________________________________________________________________

also.. i'm making teapots right now and i'm gonna make an animal set based on a kidrobot toy, and baby animal pictures (aka cute animal pictures) i'll blog about my ceramics stuff once i'm done too so wait for it!

they're so cute :)

QUALITY VS. QUANTITY...

quality...

quantity... which is better?

everyone knows this answer.. quality of course right?

i know that too.. how come it never comes across when i'm at risd then?

it seems as if every homework assignment i get at risd requires me to pull out as much as i can out of me, expecting that everything that i make is amazing in the short amount of time they give me... not really paying too much attention to the quality of my work...thats what i realized today during my ceramics class...making a teapot and plates...

from now on.. i'm really gonna try and focus on quality... quality of my work, quality of my focus, the quality of my effort in everything i make..

i don't even know why i make quantity a burden on myself.. but i do.. its whats required.. but focusing on quality thats harder because it hurts.. (i have a bruise on my pinkie and wire cuts/indentations on my hands..my hands hurt) :(

BUT 힘차게 한번 달려 보는거야!

TRUE HAPPINESS

isn't it nice to have pictures? i was looking through my photos of everything i've collected since probably 2005, 5 years has passed already! so much has changed and much has stayed the same.. but my most cherished pictures and memories lie in a specific category: church, family, missions trips, travels, and of course home

as i looked back on all my memories - more than art, more than trying to succeed in school or work, more than trying to be the best - i've realized that i've been the happiest when i'm with the ones i love, in the places i love that hold all my emotional memories, doing what i love most - serving and being with people who really appreciate me for who i am; who have taught me about living life, love, joy, sadness, real suffering, pure happiness.. the things in life that really money can't buy..

who are these people? where are these places where i've experienced the zenith of happiness and where i realized "this is my reason for living, this is why i'm living" the true answer doesn't lie in my blog post or my words, or the people i know, or the places i've been, but the life that i've lived thus far, my happiness exists through my memories, my emotions, my own experiences, my heart... and sometimes you don't realize that a certain moment is "what happiness truly is", but when you look back you'll automatically know that, that moment in your life was the happiest for you when that unconscious smile comes to your face..

of course you can also be happy for a moment, but is that really happiness? as i looked back on my pictures i came to realize that i have had many happy moments in my life, but true happiness was not something i received or made for myself, but what i gave...

people think that places where you're not comfortable and the culture is so far from anything you've know could never be a place of happiness, but you know what? for me happiness was in the places where water is hard to find, bathrooms mean a hole in the ground, sleeping in a village, traveling to places where tourists don't go. my happiness existed in those places because i saw, experienced, and met with people who appreciate you more than themselves - who would give up their house for you so that you could have a place to stay for the night, who would give you their fattest pig so that you and the people you're with can have the best meal that they can offer to you.. they were thankful that someone would come and be with them, to teach them, to show them a world beyond their village.. at that time, i really wasn't happy.. why? because i had nothing to give to them, WHAT COULD I POSSIBLY GIVE BACK TO THEM WHEN THEY'VE GIVEN ME ALL THEY HAVE? simply love. all i could do is love these people, love them and make them feel just as important as a king or queen, love them and teach them what love is, be with them, listen to them, comfort them, pray for them.... that was true happiness: loving without wanting anything in return and that's when you'll smile unconsciously to yourself saying "living really was worth it"

TAKING THE WORLD OFF YOUR (MY) SHOULDERS

i never really thought about what situations i'm putting myself into -

a good opportunity, i assumed was an opportunity given to me from God and that shouldn't really be disagreed... until today...

RiSD's wintersession classes are supposed to be considered a "break" from the normal school year and work load, so i hear...

well i challenged myself to make use of my time here so i decided to take 6 credits (2 classes) for wintersession.. ceramics :) and mutable past...

originally i had only registered for ceramics because i forgot the day for registering for a second course.. thinking it would be fine and ceramics wouldn't be too much work i decided to email the professor and see if i could wait-list for his class..little did i know of what was to come...

Day 1 - last monday: ceramics class FLEW BY SO FAST! WHERE DID THE TIME GO?! but homework? 30 cylinders DUE THE NEXT DAY. :O i prepared myself for my stress mode and got to work, by the end of the night i wasn't even close..

Day 2 - last tuesday: i went back to studio early the next morning to continue and made up to 26 close to an hour before class started and i think i started working on it since like 9 or something.. but thats not important.. what was important was that my teacher came in and told us to stop because she knew we couldn't finish..class started and like the day before it flew by like...like when 5 minutes alone feels longer than 10 minutes with friends.. homework that night was making 10 mugs.. and yes i finished by the monday that it was due

Day 3 - last wednesday: first day of mutable past.. the teacher talks on and on about the class (and here is my part about the good opportunity) after the introduction he choose from the waiting list those who would be able to enter the class and those who wouldn't...my name was the last one to be called - the last person chosen to partake in that history on film: film on history class.. A GOOD OPPORTUNITY FROM GOD? A CLASS THAT GOD MUST REALLY WANT ME TO PARTAKE IN? YES! at that time...

Day 4 - not really important but putting it there so it's even :D

a class i barely made into, i thought was an opportunity, a chance to really work hard during wintersession.. and it was... on top of the overwhelming ceramics homework (throwing cups, bowls, plates is not easy!) i had to read 1 book a week, 150-200 pgs; an article from a packet that he specifically made; and a digital article from the internet -- writing journals after each reading.. how would you handle all of that work? when studio's are 5 hours/day and history class was 3 hours/day?

so after thoughtful consideration, i dropped the class and wouldn't you know it? the registar at my school was a day behind on add/drop forms and right before they were sending the last of the papers in, the counter lady let me in and fill out the sheet - the last person (once again) to drop a class. it was then i could breathe, then that the burdens on my shoulders were taken off, but it was later that i realized that it was I, not God, who chose the history class, and it was God who allowed me to come out of it...

WHAT DID I LEARN FROM THE PAST WEEK OF SUFFERINGS AND TREMENDOUS AMOUNTS OF STRESS ?!? romans 5:3-5 which basically says (in my point of view) sufferings --> persevering through the classes, trying to do all of my homework --> which built a diligent character --> and my hope? THAT GOD ALWAYS HAS A NEW & OPEN PATH, despite the fact that i choose such a hard path that i thought i could handle, but God knows me better than that :)

...so look to the horizon and see what i see - a beautiful sky calling my name to take a breather from the stressful world and a long path taking me to God with every step i take

p.s: this means i am going home a day earlier so i will be in LA on FEB. 10 :D

"TODAY WAS A GOOD DAY" - ICE CUBE

"I got to say it was a good day" - Ice Cube.....

The last line from Ice Cube's song..

.. and i guess for me today was a good day :)

.. at least it ended well anyways, so how was my day then?

lets see:: wake up, watch episode 85 of 지붕 뚫고 하이킥, eat a really late breakfast or early lunch (which ever way you choose to view it), go to the mail room to pick up "History on Film: Film on History" (which came on friday but I was 40 minutes late so i couldn't pick it up and read it over the weekend), go to room 007 to finish off my 10 ceramic mugs that were due today, stay in class till it started, have my mugs critiqued (which went fairly well), took a 30 minute break, went to have a slice of carrot cake and a peach POM juice, go back to class, learn how to make bowls and plates (in that order), make a plate - succeed, make a bowl - FAIL., learn to make glazes, get covered in dust, go back to making a bowl - SUCCESS!, eat dinner in the studio, start ceramics howework - 10 tall cylinders by tomorrow (technically today because its 1:40 AM exactly), complete 4 because i have no more clay left which means i have to buy more in the morning, perfect all my mugs so they can go in the kiln tomorrow (i think), go to the library read "History on Film: Film on History", leave when the library closed, walk back to my house, stress over how much work i have left, clean up and get ready for bed, check my spring schedule, find out I have my drawing studio on fridays, stress out some more because then i might not be able to make it to Linda's graduation if my teacher has his final crits during final crit week, take a breath and kind of clam down, do devos - THEN BAM! Romans 4: 4&5 - ⁴Now when a man works, his wages are not credited to him as a gift, but as an obligation. ⁵However, to the man who does not work but trusts God who justifies the wicked, his faith is credited as righteousness. - "I got to say it was a good day"

.. what was significant about the passage?

This is what it meant for me:

work means you get paid = obligation; no work and trusting God = righteousness

and in my context:

working all day at RiSD = my obligation to the school (considering how much it is for 1 semester..goodness) but not working (or taking a breather from it) and trusting God that everything will work out, and that His plan is greater than anything else = became my hope for tomorrow that I should look to God and trusting that He won't make it too hard on me before I go into panic mode.

.. so i got to say, it really was a good day :)