oh 멋져...

too many ...
요즘 끌리는 남자들: 송승헌 (여원히),주상욱,태양,김수현... 매력남+볼매s... ㅋㅋ
ㅠㅠㅠㅠ
비참한느낌...

3 semesters

my school runs on a tri-semester type of schedule. fall semester, wintersession, and finally spring semester. with of course breaks in between. its nice to go home during those breaks.. it really gives me a chance to do nothing. NOTHING. its weird.. risd has now trained me to be so productive all the time that when i do get breaks.. i don't know what to do. so i end up doing more art work, or crafts, or just walk around looking at everything around me. i feel like that's what i did during my wintersession break.. except that i've been thinking so much about the future and internships and jobs and life in general.

its funny how 2 years ago i was in high school, and now when i see high schoolers they look young (not specifically seniors though, sometimes they look a lot older than me.. o-o) i never miss high school, i only wish i could have .. done more.. achieved higher, tried harder, at least attempt to socialize with people i considered ridiculously idiotic and retarded.. but then again, the past makes me who i am. and its made me. and it's brought me this far.

living way is really good. i really like that they're using thmc's building and became the afternoon service.. truly a blessing

anyways. this is what i want to do/be a production designer not only for movies, but for mainly musically oriented performances
the brain behind what the audience sees

almost home

i woke up
i realized i didn't finish my take home final
went straight to the library in my pjs and finished
ate breakfast
finished packing
got ready for class at 1pm
class ended 30 minutes later
this class is supposed to be 3 hrs long
i went back to my room and got ready to leave for boston
my bus was at 3:30
i got to the bus stop at 3:15
i was not late
a bus came
the bus driver said that the bus was not going to boston
it left.
it was 3:30
went to the train station
got a ticket to boston
i still had time
got on the right platform
got on the wrong track
i was headed for new york, not boston
got off at the next stop
changed my flight
got on the right train
got to boston
got to the airport
8 minutes too late
i'm leaving on the first plane tomorrow morning

lesson for today: i am too anxious and try to do things my way. EVERYTHING must be in God's hands, and i must leave it to Him to prepare the way for me. I should not worry, should not be anxious. God has a plan, a purpose. and the cheapest way is not always the best way.

but i was traveling with my roommate so i had a buddy with me through it all.. :D

...blurb

지금 이순간들을 즐기면 나중엔 후회는 안 하겠지.. ?..
아ㅏㅏㅏ 고등학교로 돌아가서 다시 살고싶다..
내 생에 제일 후회할때...
다시살면 더 즐겁게..
난 아직까지 너무
우울하게
제미업게
외롭게
고통스럽게 산것같에..
너무 참은것같아.. 모든것..

i need to be more expressive.

tick tock goes the clock.. but i'm sitting here watching it

mm its weird when i watch youtube videos of kids singing aka justin beiber.. his music videos are weird.. or is it just me? i feel like i'm watching like nickelodeon or something.. haha maybe i'm just getting old.. and kids who are younger than me just keep coming out and people who i grew up listening to are just old so now they're slowly starting to produce music rather than sing anything now.. mmm time flies.. producing music seems so fun.. i love music but then again nothing is constant.. and its hard to find something in life that i want to do consistently.. except set/stage/lighting designing/directing

life is one chance.. sigh hopefully i'm doing the right thing in this one chance that i get..
you're only given one chance to live the current day..

i went to a super bowl party yesterday.. and one of my friends mentioned to me that sometimes when he eats at parties like these he always has some sort of regret the next day saying to himself that he should have eaten more of the good food.. haha

living contently, without regrets, every day, 24/7/365 haha i need to do that..

mmm :) i think thats why i like being busy because i have things to do and accomplish..
i hate wintersession... the rest is great .. for the first 2 weeks or so... but i'm bored.. i'm bored or resting and sitting in my bed.. and oversleeping.. and although it might sound like i'm complaining about some of life's goodness but i feel like its only temporary happiness.. i want to get back in studio and work~~ make projects.. think about design concepts.. not waste my time.. :T

on a brighter note: humming urban stereo came out with a new single finally.. love them :D

post it

God waits at the end of the tunnel. As i come out crying, screaming, scarred, annoyed and frustrated, He's there..waiting, knowing that the river beneath me would eventually bring me out. Though i tried to float along, in the dar, by myself, without that light at the end of my tunnel, i probably wouldn't even try to save my own life.
"Though i have not seen him, i love him, and even though i don't see him now, i believe in him."
Therefore i now need to prepare myself, be obedient and wait till i get out knowing that the light at the end is my safety; putting all of my hope in the haven that lays on the horizon, one day reaching that place
Love them, from the heart; get rid of the malice and crave the sweet. For I now know that it is the Lord that satisfies my hunger and cravings.

1 Peter 1:1-2:3

i wrote this on a post-it last night before i slept.. God answered my prayer but in some way i feel like i knew the answer the whole time...i just didn't want to face it, confront it.. He just had to show it to me so that i would be able to accept what He has for me.. and i see that if i long to become more like Christ i must follow in the path He has chosen for me.


쑤고했어요오. ㅋㅋ

ㅇㅏㅇㅣ.. ㅜ.ㅡ

인생은 참힘들다...
하고싶지안은 것도 해야돼고..
피곤하고...
지치고..
어이업고..
한숨밖에 안나오는 네가 참...
보기가 안좋네..

people say living the christian life is hard..
i think it was the first time i felt that way.. ever......
i wanted this year to be different with my walk with God.. and i guess its changing..
just not the way i wanted it to change..
i thought change would be nice.. but its hard..
i know in the end if i stick to God, the outcome is going to be so worth it at the end..
but now.. right now.. i'm just tired and don't want to do any of it..
i want to go back to the comfortable christian life that i've been living..
but when i look at it.. thats not what my soul is longing.. just my mind..
아 신경질나..

재미도업고..
시간만 빼서는것 같기도하고..
'내가 할수있을까?' 라는 생각이 계속든다...