2wenty: a pursuit of perfection.

i turned 20 today.
it was the perfect day.
the most perfect way to celebrate it.

in mammoth with so much snow that it stood taller than me.
the sun shining right at the tip of the mountain as i sat on the lift.
snow all around sparkling on the ground.
like it was made up of a million crystals creating natural topography patterns, a work of art.
snowboarding.
the wind hissing in my ear when i go fast, the rush.
then the pause as i catch my breath again.
look up the mountain, look down the mountain and see that my friends are all around.
love, comfort, joy, safety, the perfection of the moments.
the tired yet exciting feeling i get after its all over, returning.
met again with love and care, and the occasional embarrassment from those all around.
the fire is finally lit at the end of the night signifying the day of my birth.
im not met with 20 candles but with 2 sticks on fire burning slowly.
almost reminding me that the day is over, my 10s are over.
but with a blow i end what has been and light what's ahead.
pictures are taken, "thank yous and you're welcomes" are exchanged.
the night is over.
it's off to bed.
what is to lie ahead of me, only He knows.
i just keep walking on the path, following.
pursing His perfection.

90th on christmas

90th post.. 10 more and im at 100 haha and its been almost a full year since i started this thing.. hmm

performing in front of people is really hard.. i have a new respect for those who do.. just being on stage by itself is pretty hard.. nerve-wrecking to the core.. i wonder if i'll go on stage again and do something like i did on christmas eve.. next time i want to be better.. ugh.. i cringe at watching my own self.. but obviously something went right if my chorus part is still stuck in my sisters and mom's head..ugh must strive to be better.. writing lyrics is hard.. singing a melody that will fit it is harder.. performing ugh hardest.. but even with all my complaining.. i've got to admit it was pretty awesome being able to sing something that i wrote and slightly helped compose :)



i finished reading 3 books in 3 days.. the hunger games. the. best. ever. i love it so much.. i think its like one of the few books that i went back to to re-read the last chapter over and over.. ending is good and every page that lead up to it game me goosebumps.. my dad got frustrated at me reading so much that he told me to stop and have fun like linda and janette.. haha never thought i'd hear that but i did..

mammoth tomorrow..
20 the day after..
and 6 days till the new year..
2010 went by wayy too fast..
there is not enough time in this life..

xmas/20th

in 3 days it will be christmas
in 5 days i will have lived 2 decades
in 10 days it will be 2011

2011 .. that number makes me feel like i'm living in the future or something..
it looks like a futuristic number they would use in old movies..
is this a sign of aging?

in 12 days i will be leaving for providence
in 5 months it will be summer

ive grown to love summer time.. i used to love winter more
but summer has replaced that
hopefully i'll be able to go to korea again..
by myself...
and go on a missions trip...
and find a good place to intern at...
sigh.. too much to do.. too short of a life..

22-8=2 weeks

2 weeks since my last post.. geez.. i need to blog more often
ive been so lazy since i ended my semester..
but i've definitely slept deeper than normal..
its pretty good.. i like it.. :)

tetrisfriends.com has been my friend today (ironic) anyways i've been playing too much but my rank stays the same and my number seems to stay the same too.. blahh plus my internet connection has been acting weird and keeps getting "lost" so i'm losing all the points that i won against the people ranked higher than i am! gahh it made me really mad. (replying to linda's recent post)

mm risd update.. i'd rather not..
but i'm going to end up doing it anyways so:
its all good. i love interior architecture and i really feel like its the major for me.. its just so .. fun.. :)
i just wish now that i'll get a good job/intern because i really want to do this..

i realized recently that theres only ONE life to live in this world..
my mom asked me how i wanted to live it when i got back.. like on the ride home from the airport... i remember having a really deep conversation that night..
my parents want to be missionaries when they retire.. i want to do that too..
after design its my 2nd love in life.. i love it so much..
japan this coming summer? i'm really considering and thinking a lot about it.. but prayer should have to come first before my own thoughts.. i need to do that more.. i feel like im falling apart lately.. i'm all over the place.. i need to be put back together..

side note: i think "the hunger games"/suzanne collins is gonna become the new twilight.. once they decide to turn it into a movie

drawing final

transformation of 1 object to another in at least 6 stages..


finals are killing me.. but i'm so excited for them.. especially intro final.. i've been working on this one really hard.. i'm sacrificing sleep and food.. and so far i've made so much progress with my work that i think it was worth it..

i liked this drawing.. i thought it was good... satisfactory..
i think i'm my harshest critic...
i'm gonna frame it when i get home.. i think this one deserves a frame :)

leaving

i'll be leaving la in a couple of hours.. but as i reflect back on my break.. i can only think of me being sick, eating, and sleeping early.. really early.. haha its always good to be home even if i don't go out.. :) i didn't fight with any of my sisters :) and i made some awesome awesome bread for thanksgiving dinner and i got to see a lot of my family, and i'm glad i skipped a day of school so that i could go to church because thmc is the best. its family, its home, its everything to me...

now i must go back, work on some my post-break hw that i've slightly piled up and prepare for finals... i will be back in 20 days.. haha i guess it doesn't sound so bad :) except the fact that i end finals on dec. 14 but my flight is on the 17th.... what do do for 3 days.. wasted away in providence?

thoughts

its funny how time flies by so fast
i'll be entering the second decade of my life .. if i lived till 100 then that means i've basically lived 1/5th of my life..
what have i done.. any impact? did i influence anyone? i question myself..
i really want to live a life that is full of inspiration and love.. i love those words. inspiration..and love..
it takes me pretty far especially with my work.. love for my work.. figuring out the challenges that inspiration throws at me.. it keeps me going and helps me stay happy and satisfied with what i'm doing..
but does that make me selfish.. to live a life that only makes me happy? ..
i want to inspire, or at least plant the seeds of inspiration in other people through what i do best.. design.. i want people to love my work and find/see love within my work.. i guess those 2 are the main challenges that i'll be figuring out for the rest of my design career ..

design is my career..
this is the path i chose...
God had it in plan for me...
i believe that its not my gift..
but a gift thats been given to me..
and i should make the most of it..
not for myself.. but designing for the sake of others...

ahh here we go again

risd update: i'm making bread for my final project.. lols jkjk its my starting point and i'm actually enjoying it so much! from scratch by the way!

but i'll just share pics of my semester so far cuz i feel like i'm never writing on my blog.. gahh no time :(

also it dawned on me today cuz my friend mentioned it to me that i am currently attending the nation's top and most prestigious art school.. really? cuz it doesn't feel like it... risd definitely does not feel prestigious.. at least not to me..

secondly: i miss LA, home, friends and the warmth so much..

thirdly.. i think my mom is worried about me finding a boyfriend cuz she keeps mentioning it to me when im on the phone with her.. geez.. i guess she might think something's wrong with me not looking for a guy lols.. am i weird to not want to? hmm

anyways pictures!

i hate drawing bubble wrap after this project! - definitely one of the hardest things to draw..

building model, floor plan, 2 section, elevation..

my amazing bread baking in the oven! so proud of it! and the new space that i have to redo the interior of.. i didn't know that a building could be so inspirational.. i was blown away with this place that had so much to it even though it was super broken and worn down... it was such an amazing space..

anyways heres a few :)

im tired

school is really getting tiring.. i wish risd would give us a break.. even for 1 day..brown got a day off.. and even though i didn't originally have class on those days.. i was still working in studio...... sigh.. life..

my ruf pastor asked me what i did outside of risd and ruf.. i literally couldn't think of anything.. that's sad that those 2 things rule my life right now.. sad sad life..

a couple days ago i felt like a 바보.. i've realized i'm really self-centered.. i can't believe i didn't realize it sooner.. dang..내가 바보 였지......휴ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

obviously i've been down these days... and to top it off i can't seem to properly listen to music because my project is hindering me from listening to only foreground sounds... i've started listening to silence and observing how loud and annoying it is...... my life is so retarded.

annnddd i want to go to nyc on the 23rd.. but all my teachers decided to put everything due that coming week..

tuesday: 2nd intro project due

wed: axonometric drawing for my 2nd intro project is due; interior architecture art history midterm

friday: mit simmons hall project due

sigh.. its gonna be my intar hell week

beauty

this is beauty..

more than anything else in the world i think that nature and architecture is probably the most beautiful thing out there..

breathtaking..

i think this is why i went into interior architecture..

i want to create something this beautiful one day..

i want to design the insides of these beauties so that the inside would be just as amazing and breathtaking as the outside is..

now i know that this is why i went into design in the first place...

WARNING!!

THIS IS ALL CGI (computer generated images) as in none of this is real.. it could be.. but this film was made ALL on the computer.. what?!

The Third & The Seventh from Alex Roman on Vimeo.

Believing in God

I realized today that the reason i believe in God is because its easy

i dont think about what certain things are or how they are supposed to be..

for me believing in God feels like something that comes so natural for some odd reason.. i feel like thats just the way my mind/heart/soul works.. i guess i don't struggle too much with God because i haven't really had anything like shocking happen to me that makes me question His existence..

but even tonight as i passed by the providence river, i couldn't help but wonder and awe at the beauty of it (even though its really really dirty) a river that flows through the city, and the great thing about looking at it at night is that you can't really see the dirtiness but you see the river as a whole.. its pretty..how could God not exist in order for that beauty to co-exist with us imperfect and at times ugly humans? its harder for me to believe in the thought that there wasn't any purposed design/idea behind all of it.. i mean how could something so perfect happen just by chance.. hard to believe for me..

hmmm.. i'm venting too much.. it was one second of today where my mind didn't think about intar. it was nice..

*intar = interior architecture.. my current major.. its officially the 1 week mark of school and i am dying of stress and panic.

first risd homework..

i just finished my first risd homework today.. its a found objects project.. so i literally had to go find objects in the trash, on the ground, the street, etc. and create an assemblage. the basis of the project is about gleaning.. and i've never heard anyone really use that word other than in the bible.. and so i had to become a modern gleaner for the weekend.. it was okay.. i guess.. except when i went digging through the trash today.. it was kinda dirty and smelly.. but now i know how homeless people feel when they do that too.. so good experience i guess..? but basically this is a collection of about 12 items all put together to create my project..

Details:

and the second project is parti drawing of a building i have to create for 1 person to live or dwell in.. and i designed a 7 story building that stands about 2 stories above the street and is a bridge for 2 buildings.. (thats the basis we had to start from) and mine is well.. my design :) maybe for someone who studies rocks or is a grand canyon lover.. idk about the rest of that.. i'll have to decide by wednesday... its a top view by the way .. and the thin lines are sections set for sky light windows

thinking

this has been on my mind way too much..

this was taken the actual day we went.. imagine the cold.. imagine the awesomeness..

first day of class

intense ... exciting! i'm ready

my first real lesson in interior architecture?

No matter how inconvenient a space is, a person CAN live in that place if he or she is psychologically comfortable in it.

No matter how convenient a space is, if a person is NOT psychologically comfortable in it, it will be almost impossible for him or her to live there.

im nervous

tomorrow is the first day of school.. and im really excited/scared/nervous/anxious to start my major.. i hope i'll do well... and succeed.. and just have a great year in general.. gahh.. i don't feel prepared..

i wonder how little kids felt when their parents told them that it was gonna be their first school day... in their life. i'd be pretty stressed out.. but then again.. at that age you don't know anything...

oh 예준 (My awesome cousin) is soo cute! thats his first day of school picture.. and he looks so happy to go.. its would be so awesome to turn back time and be a kid for a day..

14th grade

sophmore year at risd. begins NOW! hahahaha

i've been so excited for this year to start.. sad that i had to leave an awesome summer but really happy that i got to start my major.. i seriously think this major is the one that fits me best.

a really long time ago i wanted to be an interior designer, and then later i wanted to be an architect just like my dad.. but then after getting to know more about art and the broad and varied range that it covers i got so sucked into electronic product designing that i thought that was what i wanted to do for the rest of my life.. but after my first year of risd i realized that there was so much more that i didn't even know about...

i never got disinterested of architecture or its designs, but rather i always found something so amazing about it. and after i found out about interior architecture at risd - remodeling/renovating the interiors of old buildings; set/stage designing; exhibition designing i lost myself in the beauty of that field. :) and im about to start walking in it on wednesday. i'm so excited :D

i pray that this would be an awesome year, that God will protect me, His hand will make my work for me, and His footsteps will lead me down His path that i hope i'm walking correctly on.. 14th grade, here i come !

end of the summer

my summer is finally coming to an end... :(

tomorrows my last day with church peeps and then i'll be on my way to risd :)

sad and happy at the same time......... :I seems like the right face for the situation... right in the middle

.....

new fav.

new favorite activity/sport - surfing. yes!

God is funny

i'm supposed to be on a plane to providence right now...

the plane would have taken off 30 minutes ago and would be somewhere in the sky...

but i'm here.

i was supposed to go to providence tonight.. for my leadership retreat for my christian fellowship i go to at school... i wasn't late to check in.. right on time.. 2 hours before my flight left... i couldn't make it. so heres what happened:

1. entered confirmation # at united airlines booth --> didn't work - said i had to go to continental airlines to check in.

2. get in a different line with the counter people to try to check in.. waited for 40 minutes...

3. got to the front.. the lady told me i had to go to continental to check in.. in a different terminal

4. walked over to terminal 6.. 25 minutes before boarding time..

5. tried to check into continental with my confirmation #... doesn't work.. get out of line to think for a while..

6. get back in line and find the counter guy to ask what was wrong with my # - give him my id.. he gives me a new confirmation # telling me this one was the one i should have been using... - my itinerary never said that...

7. punched in the new confirmation #... checking-in was over.. finished. done.

when i was waiting in line.. i asked God what His plan was... i told him i was ready to stay and was ready to leave to providence.. and whichever way it went.. i'd be fine with both.. i was excited for both.. He choose for me.. He made me stay here... i wanted to stay here.. but also wanted to go.. but i'm here now.. this is God's plan for me. He chooses.. i follow though.. even if it gets me frustrated and tired... because His plan is wayyy better than mine. :)

india part1

visionary dream & answered prayer

first the answered prayer:

since school ended and summer started i've been praying to God asking Him to teach me how to pray... and this india team i went with my eemo and mrs.chang and when i watched them pray i realized that praying wasn't just words that was coming out of their mouth but it was their faith that was flowing out of their mouths. they prayed with their hearts and talked to God as if He knew everything they said even if we weren't making any sense in our own brains.

so yes. that was lesson numero 1

secondly the visionary dream. its kinda long so if you want to continue reading it.. then good for you :)

so 8.6.10... sean and julian's mom shared during the morning devotions and talked about how she received the baptism from the Holy Spirit and how she really met God the day before. i think it was that night i had a dream and it was really vivid when i woke up (8.7.10) and it stayed in my head for like a week after that. basically my dream (according to samo and mrs. chang) was about a revival in japan.

i am at the beach.. in a hotel/dormitory like building.. i am with 8 other people.. 2 girls and 6 boys all of different races.. but of those there was a japanese (?)/asian girl who stood out to me the most.. as in i can remember her the most.. i am sitting by a wooden window and look to my left where i can see people playing on the beach and small waves crashing ashore.. in the distance is a wave maybe half a centimeter high from my view point... 3 seconds later i can feel rain and the distant wave becomes about 1 foot high and i scream "ahhh haeeundae! everyone close the windows!" ** fyi - haeeundae is a korean movie about a tsunami that hits korea** and then i tell everyone, "stop and run to the basement!" and as i run down the setting changes to an army base, and the basement area is guarded with soldiers and is made out of cement blocks.. from this underground basement i can see everything that is happening outside.. as if the basement was like an attic.. i see the wave hit land and buildings and everything goes dark.. i black out.. when i wake up again, i am still in the basement but this time alone and in front of me are 2 big doors.. i open them and enter a dimly lit hotel lobby made of wood, amber and gold.. as i walk down the hallway i see on my left is a big conference room with many people and is brightly lit, on my right is the hotel lobby and is dimly lit but carries the biggest glass/diamond/gold chandelier i have ever seen in my life.. as i continue down the dark hallway with light reflecting off of the amber floors, i come to the end of the hallway where i stand in front of 2 huge doors.. i open them and outside i feel like i am in japan.. i see majestic mountains and beautiful trees with blossoms falling as if it were snow.. in the distance on my left is a brown pagoda and to my right is a white temple with some cultural festival taking place, people are in costume and tourists are there taking pictures of not only the show but the scenery as well... however this is all on top a cliff.. and i can see the end of the cliff... it kind of looks like i am on top of one of the floating mountains from the movie avatar.... i gaze at the beauty and it takes my breath away... all of a sudden there is a huge wave, bigger than the one before, so big that i can't see it in one gaze.. and its coming down... i scream and as it almost crashes down on me i wake up.

and that was my dream. so i learned that in dreams waves are powerful meanings for renewal, revival, etc. and this dream became mrs. chang's confirmation dream for her vision from God about a huge and sudden revival in japan.. and i pray for it now. but it was that day i also learned to really pray and heal the leg of a hindi woman though God. but thats for next time :)

india

my official 10th mission trip. and 5th church mission trip.
i didn't think that this one would be any different than the others.. but this time was such a blessing i can't even explain.

the kids, the testimonies, the power of the Holy Spirit, learning how to really pray, healing a woman through God's power, confirmation dream from God for a vision 장집사님 had... riddles, the number game, the ball game, babo game, pondscum game, umbrella game. it was kinda awesome.

the day that changed the way i walk with God: 8.7.10

universal studios

i forgot how fun jurassic park was.. :)

it was definitely fun and wet.

sitting in the front row..

i got soaked. it was fun :)

museum dayyy

california science center + natural history museum..

i like them both

i liked the science center when i was younger.. its definitely a kids place..

natural history museum on the other hand .. its pretty awesome.. although theres not much there.. its pretty awesome.. all the fake animals.. hehe.. its pretty cool.. but i liked the gem/minerals room/exhibit the best! i saw the the rarest diamond in the world.. a red diamond.. its was soo freaking small.. but beautiful.. not like a ruby at all.. it was just amazing. then of course were all the other gems/minerals that exist through out the world and those were pretty amazing.. the colors, the way they grown, the perfect lines that are formed on the rocks.. its kinda hard to imagine all those beautiful .. uh rocks.. as rocks. hehe :)

the giving tree

i redrew/shortened the giving tree book for my dad cuz he's using it as part of his testimony for india.. i think.. but i think its incredible how a child can grow up in basically in 13 pages....

life seems short...

i should make the most of it...

and stop being lazy.....

make most of my time.....

maybe i'll post my finished watercolor drawings when i finish :D

ANDDD

tomorrow is JOHNNY 집사님'S BIRTHDAY! YAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHOUTOUT TO HIM! because he's the one person i can never can seem to say no to, he's pretty amazing, definitely God's son, happy birthday johnny :) i'm glad you've lived this many years healthily and happily :) however... i can't seem to find the perfect gift for him.. i can't think of anything that would portray how much i would like to show my gratitude for him.. :T

right brained

right brain:

uses feeling

"big picture" oriented

Imagination rules

symbols & images

present & future

philosophy & religion

can "get it" (i.e meaning)

believes

appreciates

spacial perception

knows object function

fantasy based

presents possibilites

impetuous

risk taking

i guess thats me ... well i see the ballerina move towards the left later.. anyways.. i think this is cool.. :)

side note: ailee i think is my new favorite singer.. shes on the icare album.... man shes good.

its time

4 weeks till i see linda

6 weeks till RUF leadership retreat

9 weeks till school starts again.....

its time....

to run forward looking towards God to have Him lead my way...

its time....

to put Him first.

bee sting - eye update

this is now what my current eye looks like..... its getting better by the day.... i wish it would heal faster.. maybe by sunday it will.. or monday.. or tuesday.... :D but it is healing really fast since the shot i got from the doctors and the medication he gave me..

bee sting

so this is sooo embarrassing but i'll show my bee sting anyways.. btw this was yesterday a little less then how it looked on tuesday... so this shows how much my eye got better :) and its getting better really fast.. now i just look like i got punched in the face and what i have now is the aftermath.. sigh.. i've come appreciate my eyes because of this incident. and hate bees. i found out i have an allergy to them. or allergic reaction to bee stings? anyways same diff.

if the picture was any bigger it would scare people.....

BEEE STING

some people were wondering about my beesting that i got the other day picking plumbs at johnny's house... which by the way is home to 3 bee nest things.. thats not a good thing..

anyways.. when i picked up linda yesterday.. she asked me to open my eye.. and i tried the best i could and she was like "OPEN IT ALREADY!" and i was like "I AMMMMM!" and she looked closer and saw that i was.. and she laughed at me.. w/e

and yesterday i went to pinkberry with the family and janette said that she thought my eye looked cool cuz it looked like i got in a fight and won or something.. lol but really it just looked like really swollen and red.. ew..

but today i went to the doctor and he told me that i had an allergic reaction to the bee sting so thats why the swelling was spreading towards the bridge of my nose and down.. so he gave me a shot and some meds.. and now about 7 hours later.. the swelling has gone down (not all the way) but its down and i took my meds so i'll have to see in the morning how it looks..

personally i think its so embarrassing so i don't like going out in public, but thank God for sunglasses.. no one can tell :D

maybe i'll upload a pic.. maybee

WOULD YOU RATHER?!

blind or deaf.....

for me .. i would choose deaf.... i was half blind today.. i was so 답답해 that i was so angry.. and it was really really hard/scarry driving to church to pick linda up from japan training.. ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

as much as i love music and just listening, whether thats nature or people talking... i'd rather be deaf..

what about you? blind or deaf?

-.=

-.=

thats how my left eye looks right now cuz a bee decided to sting me in the eye yesterday picking plums at johnny's house...... it hurts....:(

other than that yesterday was fun: dodgers game and 5th of july fireworks after on the dodgers field except the security stopped letting people go onto the field just as we got up there... :( so we sat in the boxes next to the field watching the fireworks :) summer baseball games with the family is pretty great :)

FEELINGS

its not good to hold them in.....

it wasn't a good "emotional" day for me....

too many thoughts, over thinking, self-degrading, depressing thoughts... sigh

but bowling and ddr made it much much better..

good way to end the night.

i got 71 in the 5th round of the 3rd game.. 71..

i ended with scores less than that in the first 2 games lol

it was pretty awesome..

i got my first strike.. it was a great feeling.

1ST GRADE

today i filled in for my mom at sam's first grade picnic and it seems like there aren't any cliques in the first grade

kids play together, despite race or what they look like whether they're a boy or girl, and they just play together, what happened? what was the turning point? why is it that when you're older you drift away from the first grade friends that you had such a good time playing with?

kids are pretty interesting..

but some play alone, and they just sit there doing whatever they're doing without really caring that they are alone..... but then sooner or later another kid comes along and plays with him/her and then they happily play together

kids are pretty interesting..

hmmmm i wonder about my future kids now.. my children.........

i'll know i'm pretty old when i have some of my own lol

WORLD CUP 2010

korea vs. greece tomorrow

i'm pretty excited.. 4:30 AM..

i need to be able to wake up ..

태극전사! LET'S GO! 화이팅! ㅋㅋㅋ

VEGETARIAN?

체질 검사

i took a test type thing today at the 한의사.. like acupuncture doctor.. and found out that i am part of the "pulmotonia" category... meaning i have strong lungs and a weak liver.. hm... i also found out that i can't eat meat.. and eating any meat products results in serious issues - like 2 days ago when i had my period cramps.. i wanted to cut my entire lower body off.. thats how much it hurt.. but it made sense to me why it hurt so much because i had 갈비 2 days straight in a row after i got back home and then had some other meat foods and such lol but anyways.. meat .. not good for my body. i'm supposed to eat mainly seafood and fish.. that's the type of protein i should get for my body.. i also found out im not allowed to have coffee/tea (anything with caffeine), soda, wheat flour, root vegetables ... no more potatoes.. :(, garlic, soy beans, apples (very bad) any medical substance and i shouldn't go into saunas.. heat and excessive perspiration is not good for me.. so 찜질방s are now put on my caution list.. mannnnn..

however good things to eat: seafood (i love seafood), white rice, red bean :), green vegetables, cocoa/chocolate (real thing not like snickers), bananas, strawberries, peaches, cherries, persimmon, and should always remember to take a lot of time standing with my back straight (problem - i don't have the best posture) and should concentrate on long/short breathing exercise- yoga, swimming (i have to now make that an activity to do), and walking - not too much running.. that's not too good..

more info about me :) here

i also found out that my dad is also the same body type as well as mrs. chang, jackie's mom, and jackie.. (i overheard my mom talking to jackie's mom about it hehe :))

IMPORTANT NOTEEEE: of course once in a while if i'm craving certain foods from the do not eat list i'm okay to eat it. but just not a lot..... meat.. that'll be a hard one.. oh my 길비&삼겹살.... ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

THOUGHTS

on RiSD:

so i decided i'm not really gonna talk about risd.. i talk too much about it in my blog. i mean if i talk to you, you probably know to some extent about it.. so i'm not gonna say anything except i hope that next year will be even better than this year, i hope i can get moved into the double double room, and figure out what i'm gonna do about my major...double major? int.arch & id? we'll see

on summer:

i somehow feel like its gonna be really short.. even though school starts on sept. 15, i feel like its too short... i don't think i've felt that summer feeling yet.. maybe because last summer was probably the best! but i need to restart 새벽기도-ing and working out.. need to do that. sigh... plans? korea, india, beach :), hanging out, working, etc.

on apple:

iphone4. AMAZING. no doubt about it, but i definitely don't agree on what they say about the whole frontal camera thing? they didn't even start that.. korea and japan have had that technology for like a year or something.. idk but for a while now.. and i don't think apple should be saying that they're the ones reinventing the way people communicate.. its already been done, its probably just america that doesn't really know about it or something..idk.. my thoughts

ipad. after seeing tim's and senior's. bluetooth scrabble? WHAT?! its freaking crazy and awesome... i kinda want it.. but i don't need it.. its cool. but its .. yeah idk what i'd really do with it anyhow..

apple... sigh.. they make things that i think i need but really don't..but maybe i'll get an iphone when my plan runs out...................... next may lol and maybe they'll have like iphone5 or something ahahhahahhahhahhaha

on life:

life isn't what i think. i know i'm gonna hit a rough patch really soon and when that time comes i know i'm not gonna feel like God is blessing me like how He has been for the past almost 20 years.. life requires a backup plan.. and i don't know if i have one... i worry about my future and my success.. people say that i'll be successful.. how do they come to that conclusion..because i work hard? yeah but thats not what life is about. i definitely have a hard time sometimes thinking about how i'll be able to do that - becoming successful. i know in my head what i want to do.. but i wonder sometimes, "is the thing i want to do.. i'm i chasing it for the right reason?" money? yeah, i could probably make money, would i enjoy it? it'd probably be a lot of stress and work and sacrifice but i would like what i'd be doing.. i think.. but do i want to be involved in that surrounding.. that i'm not so sure of.. giving part of my future life to the industry that i want to work in knowing that it could get in the way of God and family.. i need to control myself not to let that happen... sigh.. life.. its all about who you know.... death also about who you know - Jesus.

on family:

on the 4th of june i promised myself one thing, that no matter what happens, i could give up everything to keep my family's happiness, the happiness and love we have now and will have for the rest of our lives. i'm glad my family's tightly knit. and even though i get frustrated a lot of the time, i need to deal with it myself. cuz my family is more important that i am. design/art, money, my success, my future, and my friends, if giving it up could save my family, i would definitely take that leap of faith. it was a hard decision.. the last one.. but if giving up my friends is what it took to save my family, i would do that.. IT'D BE SOO HARD, but i would do it.

ending on a happy note, i finished STARBUCKS SAVED MY LIFE today, it was a good book.. definitely inspiring..you should read it! :)

I REALLY NEVER POST..

its really been on my mind lately that i really don't post any blogs...

i will

soon.

just now is not the time

why is that.. i think of blogging whenever i don't really have the time to do it?

tomorrow or maybe by this weekend... i'll do a whole risd blog post. and the completion of my first year of college :)

ps. happy birthday daniel! i think its your birthday in officially 3 minutes :D

I SHOULD BE WORKING BUT...

i'm kind of distracted from studying for finals because of this camera... i really want it.. my friend actually has it and i really want this camera. picture quality is OMG great :) canon g11:

its pretty awesome and i also want a case that goes with it. the case may look weird but its nice when its on the camera:

and these laptop skins, but only 1 out of the 3 :)

yes.. these are what i currently desire

CARDS

cards.. not the kind you play with but the ones you write in. My mom sent me a card today with a gift inside telling me to 힘내 for my finals that are coming up next week. sigh... next weeks.. 8 days till i'm in LA.. but its gonna be tough to finish.. so much work. so little time. i have to build a bookshelf, study 100+ images for african art (only being tested on like 8), write an essay on historical films........ AHHH TOO MUCH WORK. but back to the card... my mom encouraged my to stay focused for the next couple of days and do well, just as i have been doing these past 9 months. i've spent 9 months at risd without pulling any all nighters, and doing well in my classes :) ..... time flies

but i thinks cards are very limited. while i was reading what my mom wrote to me i couldn't help but feel that my mom wanted to write more. i think cards are a great way to send messages, but the space is so limited... maybe thats why they made those huge cards, but who thinks of writing long messages in those things .. but sometimes that space is needed to say what you want to say... idk.. i'm tired of studying in the library... but my point... sometimes cards limit you to what you want to express because of the amount of space they provide for you to write... i think ^^

ahh the cover didn't make sense (its a card from london..) and i got a gift too :) its a gingerbread man watch necklace.. so cute :) i love it haha.. it made my day

50th POST!

to celebrate my 50th post. i would like to say that i had my first day off at school for the whole year (minus breaks).. yes today was my first day off at school because my final design critique got cancelled..with only 9 days left. i had my first school day off. so what did i do? :D mmmmm... woke up WITHOUT an alarm and worked on some other final projects andddd stayed in my room BECAUSE IT STARTED TO RAIN! ughh but it was cool.. i chilled and watched dramas and relaxeddddd :) first day off.. it was great .. and now only 9 days left of school. 2 studio finals down 1 more to go+1 final essay+african art final exam........ 9 days. i can do it

HAPPY 50TH POST to myself.. :)

DRAWING FINAL

so i finished the first part of my drawing final today! YAY! we got to work on it all day in class.. and this was a collaboration final project so i got to work with one of my friends, stephanie. we're done. its over! part 1 is anyways.. that was the main part so i'm pretty excited and happy out of my mind :D its a 360º view of an intersection in providence.. the intended size for the final project was gonna be 30" by around 7 feet.. but then it kept growing and growing... so now its 30" by about 10" .. i'm not sure on the exact length of the whole thing.. but its about 10 feet. maybe a little less.. ANYWAYSSSSS heres the final drawing.. i took the picture with my phone (again) so i'll upload a good quality picture after all my finals end and 2nd semester ends... ahhh! i'm done with my freshman year of college! it went by too fast..

i can understand why people say "if only i could go back to my college years..." its definitely more freedom, studying what you want to study, and you don't need to worry about taxes or business things or whatever.. college is pretty cool.. i'm gonna miss it when i leave too.. i think :)

TODAY IS PRETTY EXCITING

SOOOOO .. i haven't blogged since like the 25th of april but i am today.. so i had 2D class today in the industrial design building on campus.. and so what did i do? i gouached.. all day.. its really tiring and my eyes hurt and i hate seeing color after i gouache.. but anyways.. today ended really great~ im currently working at prov. wash on my 3D final.. i forgot my ruler.. and the door is locked to get the long white paper.. so i'm pretty much making small sketches and finalizing my design with connie (on the right) and ebae (in the center) :D.. they're pretty great (according to connie:) GREATTTTTTT people... we watch hilarious youtube commercials and this is what we do while working..

todays been pretty great~

we kinda play on the dangerous side of life :P

LIFE

so life..

i'm trying to go with the flow..

spring is beautiful in providence..

its amazing to see the flowers bloom as the days go by..

close up when it starts to rain and such..

to see the falling white petals from the trees create winter on the ground...

God really did create an amazing universe..

some days i look up at the sky, close my eyes and feel the wind and sun on my face..

i feel like i can breathe from the chaos of school and work for that one moment..

it really is nice..

the canal at the bottom of this hill is probably the best..

beautiful..

i think i'm really attracted to bodies of water..

i just love them..

although i don't like going into them i love them

oceans - beaches, rivers, lakes, canals, etc. :)

but it's been hard..

school, work, all of it..

i'm fed up with pushing myself to crank out projects week after week like a machine...

a machine that will run for only 31 more days..

1 month..

that's it..

then freshman year is over..

freshman year of college..

it's almost over..

why does time feel like it goes by faster by the year?

새월이 참 빨리 흐른다..

20 years of living is coming closer and closer as the days go by and seasons start to change..

why do i still feel like a child though?

what's so good about becoming an adult..

life should just be enjoyed......

지금 이 순간을 즐겨라...

that's how i should be living...

sigh......

ART UPDATE: DRAWING

WARNING: ANOTHER LONG POST BECAUSE OF IMAGE SIZE

drawing... its actually been really okay.. because we didn't have class for a week, cuz we already had an extra class that we went to. we've basically been doing figure drawings, but with like crazy mediums like wax, house paint, chalk on cheap papers that are like 7 feet tall (that was only this week, but we've been working on bigger and bigger paper as the weeks go by).. it was hard to do but i stood on a stool and painted.. it was fun - so without further ado .. is that how it's spelled? whatever ... just look (ps this is figure drawing so be mature)

*pictures were taken on my phone.. so excuse the quality -

this is the 7 feet drawing.. mine is 2nd from the left.. i'm definitely not a paining major - i ended up sketching the figure with the brush...

this drawing is in pencil on bristol..

the bottom one didn't take as long as the first one.. i didn't try as hard on it as i did on the first one because i didn't like the view i was sitting at.. that's why she looks retarded

and this is what my friends and i do when we're on break: hahaha its fun

finally the most exciting part! i'll be embarking on a summer drawing project just for fun of images of all my friends on ink.. (that was one of the homeworks for drawing class last week: 4x4 ink washes of ourselves) so if you would like to be drawn let me know and send me a picture later with good contrast or a good picture of you that you would like to have painted.. THIS IS A SUMMER SELF PROJECT.. so yeah :)

here was mine - i kinda messed up.. thats why there's like fuzzy edges on some parts.. i accidentally mixed too much water with the ink...

look familiar? it's because the 2nd one was my facebook profile pic, and the first one is my current facebook pic :P

EDIT:

i forgot to add this picture - its a drawing from my sketch of this old library we went to as a class: i really liked the composition.. you don't have to like it.. or you can...

ART UPDATE: 3D

WARNING: THIS IS A LONG POST - MOSTLY BECAUSE OF THE PICTURES

3D.. ahh its been pretty tough; fun but tough... i basically was cranking out projects in 1 week on top of art history, social history, 2D and drawing.. it was a pain... but this weeks project is a 2 week project (thank you God!) and so it's giving me a little bit of a breather...

so anyways:

the "texture" project (this was due right after spring break - the week of 2 midterms, the final 2D homework, and some other stuff i forgot.. i just remember that being one of my hardest weeks - i almost died) i made & carved this out of air dry clay in less than 4 hours... the day before class ........ -___-

DETAIL OF THE TEXTURE (you couldn't see it unless you held the object in your hand):

then it was the kinetic project - basically we had to create something that would move on it's own after giving it a "push".. i basically made a continuous escalator for this glass marble thing i hate this..it's ugly.. but it worked so i was proud of it.. it took a while to figure out the right angles to get the thing going... by the way the escalator thing goes when you turn the gears... :D here it is - made out of popsicle sticks, the white project foam board things, hot glue, dowls about 1" in diameter, masking tape, and 2 spools:

FINALLY the project that is due this week (this is the 2 week project) basically it has to hold 4 1/2 lbs. from a height of 3 feet and width of 15 in. made out of balsa wood.. quick lesson on wood - balsa is one of the most, if not the most, fragile wood. basically you can cut it with an x-acto knife.. that's how i made this thing.. and it snaps with very little pressure.. but that also depends on the thickness too.. i bought pretty thick balsa (1/2 in. thick).. i'm gonna turn this into a bookshelf :) it needs more adjustments.. but for the time being and for my crit. on thursday.. i don't plan on touching it unless i have time.. (this picture was taken while the glue was drying that's why there's tape on the sides and stuff) and the image....

and that has been 3D at a glance since my spring break :D